Mother Bashing: Does She Deserve It?

About the Book

MOTHER BASHING: Does She Deserve It?

This is a book about relationships between mothers and their adult children. Most mothers are women, but fathers as well as anyone else may also fulfill the role of “mother”. The book includes theoretical ideas, but is filled with examples from actual clinical cases to clarify meanings. It is a book for everyone who has a mother or is a mother. It is for both men and women. Teenagers may find it a helpful tool to better understand themselves and their parents.

This is a very personal book. I have experienced mother blame in my own life as well as identified problems I had with my own mother. My own emotional pain launched me on the odyssey of writing this book. I developed a pilot study to find out if others felt as I did. I discovered that Mother Bashing or blaming is part of our culture in the U.S.. Society is also guilty of unfairly blaming mothers for problems their children may have. I discovered there is a lot of emotional pain in relationships between parents and children.

The book defines mother bashing, explains what a good mother really is, the reasons society has blamed mothers and whether that blame was warranted. It examines reasons for blame and focuses as well on conditions in our world today that can cause harm to developing children as well as cause conflict between mothers and children. Single Parenting, Child abuse, Social Change, Memory and, The Technological Revolution are addressed.

This book helped me accept the fact that I was a good mother as was my mother. I was able to accept the fact that I am not perfect and to forgive myself for the mistakes I have made.

Lee Starr - Chicago, Illinois

Opera singer and mother of adult twins

This book changed the way I viewed mothers. I feel closer to my mother than I did before as I think I understand her better. I now believe I can be a good mother someday.

Amorette DeBoer - Grand Rapids, Michigan

Certified Massage Therapist

Everybody should read this book! It made me feel more loving toward my children and less critical of myself. I believe I understand my mother better now.

Joshlyn Gill - Santa Fe, New Mexico

Cosmetologist and mother of two children

The last sections of the book recognize the profound need in the world for mothering at many levels, beginning with our own children and expanding this “mothering” to the world. It considers mothers who may feel they deserve to be blamed.

The last chapter provides concrete suggestions to help readers deal with their anger and learn to forgive if they choose. This book is not written to vindicate mothers or to blame them. Blame already exists. It is not a book about how to be a good parent, but it provides good parenting advice. It is a book that sheds a different light on mothering and parenting today and provides information about how to cope with discord in cross generational relationships. It challenges mothers, fathers, and their children to evaluate themselves as they read.

I developed a questionnaire to find out more of what others are experiencing. It can be taken on my website. I will use your feedback as data to more fully explore the problems identified in this book and post the results on my website.

Take a Questionnaire about your Mother or Being a Mother

Dr. Perry’s book is truly provocative! It illuminated the concept that my mother was a “person” before she was my mother. Previously, I had relegated her existence to “motherhood” alone. Now I see her in a much broader context and accept her for the woman she ‘is’. I believe multiple generations of children should read and discuss this book. I realize we are much more than the roles we take on in this life.

Cecilia Keough - Santa Fe, New Mexico

Certified Investment Counselor and mother

I loved the book! It helped me to stop blaming myself for everything and forgive myself for not being perfect.

Bernadette M. Rodriguez - Santa Fe, New Mexico

Investment Banker and mother of a son

A must read for anyone who is or has a mother! This book sheds light on the causes of mother bashing and provides an understanding of good mothering as well as the dangers in society today that can damage our children. The author writes from her heart and shares her own experiences as well as actual clinical cases. She is a mother of three children and a grandmother to six.

Eileen P. Sheil CNP, Ph.D.

Associate Professor Emerita, University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee